Headache

For your information (FYI). Means: I don’t know what to do with this, so please keep it.
Noted and returned. Means: I don’t know what to do with this, so please keep it little while.
Review and comment. Means: Do the dirty work so that I can forward it.
Action please. Means: Get yourself involved for me. Don’t worry, I’ll claim the credit.
For your necessary action. Means: It’s your headache now.
Copy to. Means: Here’s a share of my headache.
For your approval, please. Means: Put your neck on the chopping board for me please.
Action is being taken. Means: Your correspondence is lost and I am trying to locate it.
Your letter is receiving our attention. Means: I am trying to figure out what you want.
Please discuss. Means: I don’t know what the hell this is, so please brief me.
For your immediate action. Means: Do it NOW! Or I will get into serious trouble.
Please reply soon. Means: Please be efficient. It makes me look inefficient.
We are investigating/ processing your request with the relevant authorities. Means: They are causing the delay, not us.
Regards. Means: Thanks and bless you for reading all the crap.